the tourist ep

by ichorling

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1.
04:20
2.
03:28
3.
4.
5.
05:25

about

we meant to drop this a day sooner but we forgot. hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive us.

credits

released October 3, 2015

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about

ichorling Los Angeles, California

ichor; noun. the blood of the gods. rhymes with liquor.

sarah and zoe;

the tourist ep, out now.

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Track Name: absolute
when i was 17
i had wrists like shattered glass,
felt like a hurricane
a summer slipped away in shades of grey

empty eyes, empty hands, empty heart
the storm brewing in these bones is tearing me apart

i am a binary star
never together or apart
if only i could choose a side
if only i could polarize

i’ll never be honest
cause i still dont know what my truth is
so you’ll find me singing out of time:
i think i might’ve lost my mind!

ive felt the sharp sting of fear in the middle of the night
ive seen 4am more times than i care to count.
always absolutes, im fine or im dying, never in between

im always the kid thats freezing cold
the gaping cracks left in the middle of the road
the broken bone with no cast,
the love that doesnt last,
anther cause thats lost
fingers always crossed
a hurricane kid
no idea what i did
but no- open palms reaching up to the sun
but our hands get burned
im the kid who never won
always always always
im empty bottles under the bed
thunderbolt dreams stuck in your head
always the shallow indentation left
by a body no longer in bed beside you
im the three, or four, or five or six in the mornings

im empty stars in the sky like eyes
reflecting hollow streetlights looking over shallow lies
resonating so deeply into nothingness
i am everything.
i am nothing.
always.
Track Name: dark
i used to be so afraid of endless dark
a black whole to envelop me, crush my heart
i would lie awake, crying in fear
desperate for someone to keep me here

now i cry because i cannot go
im left here tethered, trapped in the cold
please letme go, let me leave
im afraid i don’t want to go on

to the grasp of my chest
warped fingers cast in lead
pull me into a dark dream,
destroy me
please leave me be

may i be grass under feet
and leaves on trees
may i be soil and earth and dew
fill me whole make me yellow make me warm
make me anything other than what i am

im not scared of the dark anymore i invite it in through my door
welcome it in to my heart, god knows i love to fall apart
i used to cry at night, beg “please leave me on a light”
now i’m sleeping in the dark, praying “please just take my heart”
but the demons i feared never came, though i call out their name
even the dark abandoned me, left me here, won’t set me free
i wish i could go, be free from the cold, be free of this body thats rotten and old
hold me end me let me go, destroy me protect me, let me go

lay me not in the cold
leave me hungry no more
protect me help me
hold me, end me
Track Name: untitled (tourist)
everyone else is growing up
they're moving on, moving out
but you're still here, still stuck in the same old place
when your worst dreams are coming true
how do you face who you've become
when you don't recognize your own face in the mirror

it's because you're a tourist in your own head
tell them all you're already dead
you're a tourist in your own head
tell them all "she left"-- you're gone

take a picture of what's already past
change your name, change your clothes
anything to hide from your past
but you're not the one who's changed,
you stay in place, watch everyone else move on

you're gone.
Track Name: gasoline (halsey cover)
are you insane like me? been in pain like me?
bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like me?
just to pour that motherfucker down the drain like me?
would you use your water bill to dry to stain like me?

are you high enough without the mary jane like me?
do you tear yourself apart to entertain like me?
do the people whisper 'bout you on the train like me?
saying that you shouldn't waste your pretty face like me?

and all the people say:
"you can't wake up, this is not a dream,
you're part of a machine, you are not a human being,
with your face all made up, living on a screen,
low on self-esteem, so you run on gasoline"

i think there's a flaw in my code
these voice won't leave me alone

my heart is gold and my hands are cold

are you deranged like me? are you strange like me?
lightin matches just to swallow up the flame like me?
do you call yourself a fuckin hurricane like me?
pointing fingers cause you never take the blame like me?
Track Name: sea storm
we are the young we are the free we’re fighting for our sanity, we were betrayed by our bodies and we never fuckin sleep
we’re the kids you forgot, we’re the kids you never loved, we’re the poor, we’re the broken, we’re the storm on the sea

you havent lived what ive lived and im not really gonna forgive ya
i dont expect you to understand if youre living a life, everything on demand
rich kids, fast cars, no rules, no scars,all sins, cigarettes, and turnin it up
they get to be invincible while we stuck out here bein responsible

all these songs i hear on the radio, yknow the ones that all the other kids seem to know
stay out all night, party all the time, live fast, die young, spend every dime
youre takin for granted what we never had, me and my friends sittin at home goin mad
cause some of us cant really afford cars, some of us still are healing our scars
so we don’t really go out, we’re hiding inside, this ones for my friend’s who feel they’ve already died

everybody’s chain smokin’ on the roof ’til midnight, everybody’s fuckin ’til the sun comes up,
they’re all living life in fast cars, last hours,
while you and i are dreaming of our demons and we’re hiding from the sun

my friends and i got bags under our eyes, lived our whole lives having to compromise
every time we stand up, we’re kicked to the ground, our internal structures were build unsound
and i made myself bleed to prove to myself what ive been through
prove to myself that im real im still here, prove to em all that my hurt is sincere
if you’re hearing my voice and you’re feeling alone, feel like you’ve never really felt at home
ive been there im still here youll find somewhere you belong
until then i invite you to find a home in these songs

what the media wants you to believe is that you and me we’ll never achieve
our dreams but i know that we were born for this, i insist you exist never let them dismiss
our power if we stand up strong, together, they cant stop us, we are the inclimate weather

you and me, we’re the storm on the sea
you and me, we’re the storm on the sea

if you’re scared of the sun, i’m here to let you know you’re not alone. if you’re scared to let go of the darkness that’s all you’ve ever known… i’m scared too. but take my hand, okay? we’ll go together.
credits